My 9 year old cousin (Drake) is currently living with my husband and I. His Mother (she’s my cousin to) is back in rehab for her crack cocaine addiction she was court ordered to give Drake up. His Father was shot and killed 4 years ago. The only other option was he either came to live with me or he went into foster care and I didn’t want him to go into foster care so I took him in. I’m only 24 years old and my husband is 29. No one else in my family would take my cousin because he’s known to get out of hand at times and to be honest, I really don’t think they care what happens to him.

I need some advice on a couple of things…. Every night before bed I get all of Drakes stuff together for school the next day. I put $4.00 in an envelope in his backpack for lunch. I leave at 5 am during the week for work and my husband puts Drake on the bus. I was doing laundry last night and I found $85 in Drakes pants. I asked him where he got the money from and he said his friend told him he could have it. I didn’t say anything else and when he went to bed I asked my husband what he thought about it and he said that he gives Drake $5.00 everyday for lunch because Drake asks him for lunch money. I told my husband that I already give him money. I’m assuming that this is the money he’s been making off of my husband so I took it. I have not spent it but I’m not going to give it back to him due to the fact that he’s been lying about needing money. I have also decided to start making him lunches so he doesn’t need money during the day. This is not the first time he has lied to us. He stole some of my fake jewelry about a month ago and sold it to another kid at the park. I got it back but he lied about the whole thing.

I received a phone call at work today and Drake allegedly touched a girls private area while playing and then proceeded to punch her in the face when she wouldn’t play along. He’s being suspended for 10 days starting tomorrow. I spoke to the school psychologist and he said Drake needs counseling for everything he’s been through. I agree but we already tried going to counseling and he was literally mute at every visit. How on earth do I handle this? Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

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Three US states – Oklahoma, Texas and Virginia – have executed children/young adults recently, since 2000:

“Douglas Christopher Thomas was executed in Virginia in January 2000, and Napoleon Beazley was executed in Texas in May 2002 (see page 1); both had been 17 years old at the time of the crimes.”

“The backgrounds of child offenders executed in the USA since 1990 suggests that society had failed them well before it decided to kill them.

Glen McGinnis, born to a mother who was addicted to crack cocaine and worked out of their one-bedroom apartment as a prostitute, was sentenced to death in Texas in 1992.”

Source: http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/ACT50/015/2004/en/dom-ACT500152004en.html

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Do you personally consider this ethical or moral? If you consider this to be a just or fair law, please explain and/or justify your opinion.

Personally, I think this is just barbaric behaviour and a great failure and inconsistency of the law – regardless of the fact that the actual number of child executions are low, it is still a huge failure. I would expect these kind of laws to be enforced in third world countries, but definitely not in the United States.
Please also consider the fact that the death penalty is also a backwards form of punishment. Yes, I agree the offenders should be punished if they are proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt – but that should have meant incarceration, not the death penalty.

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I suggest that you can buy beer and cigarettes inside the local 7-11 and crack cocaine and marijuana outside. This means for all the $ spent and effort, it simply isn’t working. It’s time to rethink US drug policy.

Look, I don’t want my minor children to have sex, and I teach them openly about rights and responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean I pretend that I don’t have sex or want you to tell me what i can or cannot do. i also enjoy Jack Daniels or for that matter VooDoo beer; but I don’t give it to my children and would harm anyone who would.

Glue, gasoline and Pam spray are all legal to buy even though you can huff them to get high while doing tremendous damage to yourself. Same is true for tobacco and alcohol. Why do we insist on having some weeds/chemicals legal to smoke/use and others not?

I do not use any illegal substances or recommend them, but I think it’s time we reconsider our national policies. We need to be pragmatic and honest. So far this prohibition thing isn’t working and there is no sign of that changing ever.

“PROTECT THE CHILDREN!” they will scream and I will say, ‘I agree!’
Just as we do with cigarettes and alcohol. If we clear out the jails of “victimless criminals” then we will have plenty of room to keep real criminals in there for much longer. And that means, people who sell or give controlled substances to kids should stay in jail until they are dead.

It’s day 14 and so far this year we’ve spent $2 billion dollars on the war on drugs.
http://www.drugsense.org/wodclock.htm

Bush spent nearly 2.4 trillion on the war on drugs in 8 years; that means 1.5 years of your personal income taxes, out of the last 8, paid for this war.
http://www.druglibrary.org/think/~jnr/wodcost.htm

Half of all corrupt police officers are involved in drug offenses.
http://www.drugpolicy.org/library/factsheets/economiccons/fact_economic.cfm

The cost per day of stay in prison is $67.55 (see item 7 on the link)
http://drugwarfacts.org/cms/?q=node/62

Marijuana as a top cash crop in the US at over $35 billion (2006)
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Story?id=2735017

what do you think? (before you answer, undertsand that i have never used any illegal drugs. that’s less than clinton, bush and obama.)
thank you John, and i agree. i would prefer we spend time educating to curb demand than stop the supply. if we spend, we should spend wisely.

drug addiction help

okay, so we have this family friend that used to be an alcoholic. he recieved treatment and got better eventually and just got married in may or around that month. he has started drinking, heavily, again and him and his wife are now separated and on the road to divorce. he is not setting his priorities straight and making his, and his kid’s life shit. his kids are from his previous marriage and they were never properly adopted by the women whom he just married. he makes them walk to school, without a coat in freezing weather, when he could easily leave ten minutes earlier to take them to school. he leaves them alone at home until very late hours at night, that sometimes turn into mornings. his kids are boys and one’s in fifth and one’s in third grade. he never takes responsibily for his own kids and lets them do whatever they want. their grades are VERY low in school and he never makes them shower or take care of themseves or anything, he just doesn’t care. just recently he was caught smoking crack cocaine with the neighbor and thinks it alright. he tells his wife, or soon to be ex-wife, that he would still have sex with her, but it just wouldn’t mean anything to him, and that she can see the kids if she has sex with him. what a pig. my little brother is best friends with one of his little boys and seeing him being pulled apart by such a thing is terrible. i can’t stand seeing this man, let alone letting my little brother go over and play at their house, but that’s not my decision because he’s not my kid. i don’t know if he currently has a job, but if so it probably won’t last long. his electricity, water, etc. is being turned off one by one and he’s slowly losing his home. he is being told to be out of his house by the end of january, and him and the kids have no where to go, except maybe back to oregon. i can’t see my brother lose a friend to such a creature. this man doesn’t deserve the great kids he has. this makes me also question the fact that there is a god, because he would not allow such a man to live. the wife can’t take the boys because she has no legal right, and she doesn’t have the money to get a lawyer, child services, or anything similiar. i have no idea what to do and i need to help this. please answer.
thanks so much for the answers so far, i forgot to add that the children’s mother had died a while back, and i think that’s what prompted him to start drinking in the beginning.
oh and another, she has called the police on him and he was tested for alcohol but was under the legal limit, there is also a report on him with family services but i don’t think there is much they can do without a lawyer or anything

crack cocaine use

To make a long story short. I was addicted to crack cocaine and left my husband and children at home. I was sent to prison for crimes I committed to get my drugs. While incarcerated my children were place in the CHINS program. When I was released from prison, one year later, I signed over my parental rights. Due to the fact that I could not promise my children let alone myself I could stay straight, nor did I have a place to stay. As of today I have been clean and sober for three and a half years. I am remarried to a great man and am the proud mother of a three year old. I am in a stable and loving environment today and work a twelve step program daily. I found out that the adoptive parents has placed the eldest back into adoption. I want to find him. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about those children. I would greatly appreciate suggestions. Thanks and God Bless!
Just to make this clear I did not indulge in crack cocaine and or alcohol while carrying any of my children. I understand that my eldest did not want another mother in his life but ME. As far as my three year old she was three months old when I chose to stop drinking.

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