My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. I problems began when we moved to his hometown. Things were fine at first, he was in jail the first month or so we were there. I went and saw him 3 x a week and took care of him. When he got out the terms of him being released was that he join drug court. A program for addicts. Well that consisted of daily AA meetings and night classes. That put a strain on our marraige, that and him working constantly. So he decided to leave me, I had no one. No one but his family b/c I was not from there. I was devastated and hurt. But I managed to pick myself up, I got a second job and took care of MY children ( we have no children together). As time went on he decided he wanted to work it out. I let him come back home. Weeks later he left again, only to come back. This on again off again has been going on a while. Last year he left me and was missing for 2 weeks. He was on a binge. Crack, Cocaine and everything else. I left and moved back to my hometown. Shortly after he called and wanted back in, yet again I let him. I don’t know why I let him. I love him so much but I can’t tell you one thing he does for me. Well, this February he left me again, he stayed with a friend of his working on hotels. He was on drugs really bad. I picked myself up, once again. I got a boyfriend and was to some degree happy. He called me one day out of the blue and said he was going to turn himself in, (since his binge a year ago he dropped out of the drug court program and there has been a warrant for his arrest since that was the condition of him getting out of jail) well being the person that I am I went to see him. We immediatley worked things out. I thought things would really change this time. I didnt let him come home to open arms. He had been begging and pleading a while. But I let him come home. This leaving and coming is still going on. He left again, almost two weeks ago. I have not heard one word from him. I miss him so bad. But WHAT I miss I can’t tell you. His behavior when he is on pain pills is crazy. Just ill all the time. Snappy. He left this time b/c he said I was mean to him. Treated him badly. I really don’t think I did. I work, two jobs to support us. He has jobs but not constantly since he does his own thing. I don’t know what to do. How do I let go? I want him to say he will change and mean it. But I don’t really think he will. I have not heard from him. He is so unfair; I really want to hear something just to the fact that I have some things that need to be said. This is driving me insane. How is this all blamed on me and does he really believe that I am the source of the problem? Does he not see that his Pain pill addiction is the root cause of our problems?

cocaine and crack